Tuesday, May 4, 2010

Mama Bears & Parents Who Don't Bother to Parent

There is nothing that brings out the fury in me more than my child being hurt by another. And not to worry,  I get really damn mad when he hurts someone else's child.  But isn't that what good parents feel? Fury when their baby is hurt and frustration or disappointment when they hurt another?!?

I admit it, I am a MAMA BEAR. I will always protect my little ones. But, here's the thing, sometimes I feel like I have to be this way because of other parents who refuse to parent. Simply said and simply sad.

Sometimes it is just a tired parent with too much to do, too many kids to watch or not enough sleep. You can see it in their eyes. And, as soon as they realize or are told what their little monster did, they take immediate action. I'm okay with that because it happens to us all.

Other times it is a parent who would rather socialize and pretend as if they did not even bring a child or children with them. Those are the people who really tick me off. Usually it's the parents of kids who are entirely out of control, super sneaky, or just plain mean. I try like hell to avoid situations with parents who are like this but we all know they are everywhere. If you are one of those parents. please STOP! Come on, you have such a short time with your little monsters. Enjoy it before it goes away and you really do have time to enjoy sipping your cocktail and ignoring kids for realz...

Even worse is when one parent ignores their kids while the other poor parent is left to watch the entire brood. Really? Why have kids if you are just going to ignore them? And please get over the old idea of the wife doing everything all the time. It's selfish and stupid.

As parents we try our best but we aren't going to be perfect. There is simply no such thing. The best we can do is give our kids a lot of love, quality attention and time. And, of course, be the people that we want them to grow up to be. That means behave the way we want them to behave. And seriously expect them to treat others with respect and kindness. And if they do not, work to adjust and alter their behavior.

It is so tough being a parent these days. Spank, don't spank, yell, don't yell, they should be reading by 1, be an olympic athlete by 5! I am so tired of all the damn books, behavior experts and judgmental people. Every child is different and every child needs a different approach.

The only absolute? Well, beating your child or yelling at your child is prolly not gonna help at all. I will pop my son on the bottom when he runs out into the road. I do not see anything wrong with that. But I don't think a child needs to be spanked for everything thing he or she does. That is extreme.

Maybe it is the extremes of parenting that annoy me. In psychology that is actually not considered a healthy or good thing. We must see that there is gray area, everything is not black and white.

Parenting is the same. It is a fluid motion much like dancing where we should sometimes respond to our partner and other times take a step before our partner.

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